Been a Long Time…
I know it’s been quite some time since I’ve posted a blog on my website, but a lot of things have happened in the last year that kept me from doing almost anything. Even the simple task of breathing felt impossibly difficult at times. Last July I lost a three-year-old grandbaby, then in November I lost my youngest daughter in a car accident. And last month I lost my buddy, the beautiful German Shepherd, Alex, that you see on my Facebook page. Along with so much death I had to move twice in one year. In fact I’m in the process of moving yet again, only this time I’ll be moving into my own home — the one where they’ll probably find me, still at the keyboard, old and decrepit, Dragon earphones plopped on my head with me as cold as the cup of coffee that’s ever at my side.
In all honesty I can’t say that I’m over all that’s happened in the last 12 months. It’s taken a lot of time, a few doctors, a lot of prayers, good friends, and inner strength to even get to where I am today, which is functional — depending on who you ask I guess. I don’t know that you ever do ‘get over’ all that loss– so sudden and unexpected. In my opinion, the old saying that God never gives you more than you can handle is bullshit. Unless you define ‘handle’ as having the ability to simply draw another breath.
Life, or some semblance of it, does go on though. The tears still come and go, as does the sadness and anger and questions, always the questions. But what you wake up one morning having to face is that none of those things…tears, anger, sadness, questions have the power to bring anybody back from the dead. I had to make a choice to move on with life as best I could, and believe me, it was a tough choice. Time really doesn’t heal all wounds, we just put gauze and tape over the holes by doing more and more ‘stuff’ during the day. Yet at night, when the ‘stuff’ stops and your eyes close, the reality and truth of it all is still right there.
Now that I’ve given you the basic reasons why I seemingly disappeared from the planet for a while, I’m going to do my best to turn this forlorn ship towards a more positive direction.
As I said earlier I’m about into my own home, and although the boxing and moving, shifting is a pain in the rear, it’s exciting, as well. In the midst of that, I’m working on three new books simultaneously. Two are nearly complete and the third will follow about a month behind the first two. That third book is a new genre I’ve not tried before, so I’m truly anxious to see the response it gets!
If you check out the book carousel on the home page of my website, you’ll notice one of the ‘coming soon’ books is called Toe to Toe. It’s the first in the Nonie Broussard series. The best way for me to describe the books in this series is…think Lucy and Ethel meet Six Feet Under and Long Island Medium.
The writer in me is very thankful to be awake after such a long, dark sleep.
Oh, before I forget, the third book I’m working on that I mentioned earlier will be written under the pen name RH Masters. Why? Because it’s paranormal erotica, and ooolala hot. I decided against going with the J.D. Robb and Nora revelation and just let everyone know up front. The reason they’re not written under my own name is I wanted to save my other grandchildren the embarrassment of showing off ‘mawmaw’s’ name on the internet when they wind up in the third or fourth grade and have RH covers pop right up! .
We have a lot of catching up to do, you and I, and I really appreciate those of you who stuck around and emailed me from time to time, asking if I had any new books in the queue. Those emails helped me more than you will ever know.
I promise to keep you posted on all the new things jumping up in my life, like the television series I’m in that should be airing at the end of this year. And of course it involves paranormal investigations!
By the way, I’m sure you’ve noticed the wonderful changes Steve Bennett and his team did on my deborahleblanc.com website, but if you get a chance, check out the other sites they’ve changed/created for me: Literacy Inc. and Fright Trail. Stay tuned for yet another site, my RH Masters, coming soon. I’m thrilled with all four and would love to know what you think about them, so shoot me a note and give me your thoughts on them if you’re so inclined. J
You know, writing has always been a wonderful lifeline for me, bringing great joy and it’s nice to have my old friend back.
Talk to you again soon!
Deb
hey, I just read your current blog posting and I wanted to offer my condolences. Funny I just happened upon this and it made me remember the summer I first came upon your books. It was the summer my mom passed away………6 weeks from the week after my 43rd birthday………6 weeks of hell watching the most perfect mom deteriorate way too quick. I was then thrust into taking care of my dad and the realization of his moderate Alzheimer’s hit me hard. I was so over protective of him that the once perfect relationship we had became strained and I went from being the good daughter to the pain in the ass and my sister went from being the pain in the ass to be the good daughter……basically because she lived an hour and a half away and couldn’t be as over protective as I was being. That summer without my mom I spent a lot of time on the back porch reading anything and everything I could get my hands on and your books were a big part of my escape that summer. I want to say thank you for that………….and send you hugs. None of awfulness of losing those we love really ever goes away…….it just becomes this thing in the background of you being you. You of all people should know they are always there, although when people have said that to me, I smile politely but think yeah sure my mom is “there” but not her hugs and not her dinner…….what I wouldn’t give for one of my mom’s meatballs!!! I lost my dad a year and a half later to cancer….he went to live with my sister for the month after he was diagnosed and she became a pain in the ass again….That’s kind of my saving grace………..his exact words to her were………where’s your sister because you’re becoming a pain in the ass……It’s the thing that makes me laugh. You have to find the thing that makes you laugh and then the tears about it all become less and less. ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))
Sometimes our life’s journey leads us down some pretty crappy paths, no doubt. Sending HUGE HUG
Hello, M’lady.
I’m, only now, finding out about what has happened to you this past year!! I am so so sorry to hear about your losses!! My deepest condolences and sympathies go out to you, wrapped in many hugs… and tied with a kiss or two.
I’m anxious to see your new books! I do have a collection that will need updating!
Should you feel the need or desire to talk or text me, know that I am here for you!
Jeffrey
jeff@jeffreybreslauer.com
407-415-6853
Thank you!
Your paragraph beginning with …. Life, or some semblance of it, does go on though….. Is so right on. When those intense bouts of grief and anger, etc crop up, roll with them, process them but allow yourself the time to grieve because only when we do, can we even begin to consider healing and wholeness.
Life does go on and we go on too, but forever changed.
My thoughts and prayers are with you always.
PamT
We lost our 5 year old daughter to cancer after a year of chemo and a bone marrow transplant so I understand how life gets out of control. Just know, it does get better. And you have friends who are here for you.
Glad you are posting again. Been missing you.
It so sucks when all one can say is, “I’m so sorry for your loss.” But sometimes life’s tragedies have a way of stealing the best words. Sending you a huge hug, Jean.
Just wanted to let you know that even though we did not know what you were going through this last year, your name did come up in casual conversation many times. You are right, we did think that you had dropped off of this planet. No one seemed to know anything, and now we do. So glad that you are back to doing what you do best…create and write. I personally will keep you in prayer to be strong in those moments of sadness that hit unexpectedly. Congratulations on your new books coming out soon….
Thanks, Sudie.
Deborah,
First I would like to say how sorry I am about your loss. I lost my sister 14 years ago at the age of 25 and sometimes it still seems like yesterday. I never forget her but I learned to go on and keep her memories alive by telling her son stories about her and sharing what a wonderful person she was with everyone I talk to. I know it does leave a big hole in your life. Here is a BIG ((((((((((((((((((((((HUG))))))))))))))))))))))).
I am glad to see you are back because I love your books! Congratulations on your new book I can’t wait to read it. I also am looking forward to what R. H. Masters will be putting in her book:)
Thanks so much, Kelly! Sending a huge hug back 🙂
As a kid I liked to read, liked to write but didn’t realize it… I was invited to a signing you did for one of your first books. I was told a little about you by family and I was fascinated by things I was told. I was a little mature beyond my years and always felt I would’nt be heard or understood by my interests, so like I did with many things, kept it to myself. Now I’m researching for a writing project I’m working on and I just tonight remembered you’re name. I was planning on waiting to contact you until I read you’re books but I read you’re blog and remembered that voice of mine I have… I am so sorry for your losses and you are in my prayers tonight…. especially as you’re words sparked familiar feelings in me. I am so thankful to you for reminding me how far I’ve come from that meek little girl and how far I have left to go, in order to fulfill my day dreams for this project that sometimes seems impossible. THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU.
Thank YOU!